Oh, Snap!

Oh, man! This week sure has been interesting on the phone pic home front. Hold on to your pants, folks, and prepare for a wild ride!

Last Tuesday my beauty of a shed arrived. Aka Sheila aka home of my fan-tab-u-lous riding mower. They're in love. Please ignore the abundance of leaves in my ginorm-O yard. I'm creating my own fertilizer....yeah...or maybe I'm lazy.

I also put together this mixed pot with some decorative grass, a few types of Coleus, and some stinkin' cute dahlias. And, yes, that is a feed bucket which, in case you were wondering, is really hard to drill holes into when your drill battery desperately needs to be charged. But then you decide you're going to cut them in with a box knife and that doesn't work either because your blade is dull so you go back to the drill and push it down into the bottom of the feed bucket until your face turns all red and you're gasping for air. What? Things like that only happen to me? Figures...

And then! A happy, happy, happy morning glory! And she's even happier now that she's planted in the ground growing up a trellis and no longer taking a spa vacation in my kitchen sink.

On the right are my super stinkin' amazing new boots. Woohoo!

Oh, but on the left...on the left is the real kicker. I tried so, so, so hard to convince my mom to buy these. You NEED them, I kept saying. They're just SO sparkly, I kept repeating. She would look at me and shake her head. She knows me so well. I love to find the ugliest possible item in a store and tell her she NEEDS it more than anything else in the whole world. It's one of my most favoritest hobbies!



And now for the stars of the show! The strangest and the most disgusting thing I saw this last week. Are. You. Ready???



Tada!

On the left we have a giant container of sloshy liquid. It looked scarily similar to Coca-cola. Good thing I quit drinking that stuff years ago.

What?! You think I was taking pictures while I drive again? Surely not!

And on the right. Oh dear, on the right. Sick nasty, indeed. A...HAIRBALL! The biggest, longest, most disgusting hairball I've ever seen and I've had many cats in my lifetime. This thing could make the Guinness Book of World Records! But you know what's even more sick nasty? This GIGANTOR hairball was laying smack dab in the middle of a window display. Needless to say, I did not go in to shop...



Well, there you have it, ladies and gents. My week via phone pics. Who knows what I'll see this week!





P.S. I watched Julie and Julia the other night for the first time, and I must say I've never experienced a blog breakdown like Julie. Plus, it took me two days to watch because I fell asleep. I did like the concept, though.

I think they should make a blog movie about my beloved Pioneer Woman! I'd be first in line for that flick!

Mom's Rock!

Mother's Day isn't until Sunday, but since I know I will barely be able to think, let alone get to spend any time on the World Wide Web this weekend, I'm going to write my ode to my momma today.

This is my momma. Isn't she the cutest? One of the things I love most about her is that she rocks some pretty awesome earrings no matter what outfit she's wearing. She's just cool like that.


You're not just my mom, you're my best friend and I don't know what I would do without you. I treasure every moment we have together along with every laugh, smile, and the tears too. You make my days brighter, you make my hurts go away, and you give the best hugs. A hug from you is like a Band-aid, it just makes me feel better. :-)

And even though I'm not stepping into the "I must get married and start a family" mindset fast enough to suit you, I did save the picture of the wedding dress I saw the other day just because you asked me to. Of course, it would probably help if I had a potential future husband first, but that's just details. Ha!

This is the dress I saw. I probably should have kept my mouth shut since she lit up like Christmas morning when I showed it to her, but I've got to let her dream...right?


I hope for every daughter to have a relationship with their mother that's as good as the one I have with you.

You're the best, mom and I love you this {<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3} much!

Muah!

MOH Chronicles: Part 2

I received an email this morning from David's Bridal about my bridesmaid dress. The subject was Your Special Order Has Arrived. I'm thinking, "hot diggity dog! My dress is already here and those silly DB girls thought I was nuts for ordering my dress in April! Ha!"


And then I saw this

Which got me even more excited! Woohoo! My dress arrived in just over a week! Jackpot baby!


And then I saw this

The sash? Really? That's all? And I have to go pick it up within 14 days or they'll give it to someone else? Utter disappointment.


David's Bridal sure knows how to get a girls hopes up, but at this rate I could have the peek-a-boo skirt next week and the dress the week after, and I need that dress, man. I was going to wear it out on the town to break it in. Like to Wal-mart and stuff...


I kid, I kid! But I do need to have it altered well before the July 30th wedding date so I'll keep my fingers crossed that I have it all by the end of this month!


To read Part 1 of this ongoing saga, click here.

Oh, snap!

Snapping quick pics with my phone is one of my favorite things to do. I will take a picture of anything and everything. No, seriously. It doesn't matter what it is. If I find it the least bit interesting I will snap a quick pic and more often than not I text them to my friend Jesse.

I bet she anxiously awaits my incoming texts while biting her fingernails and pulling out all of her hair. I'm just sure she loves it. Right? You think she does, don't you? I mean, she's my best friend so surely she would tell me if I'm annoying. Yeah, she would totally tell me. She loves it. I can feel it in my bones.

What?! You think this jacket is hideous? Well, that's exactly why I took a picture of it. After I told my mom she should buy it and wear it, of course. I love doing that to her! Then I told her I was going to buy her this cute little Buzz and Woody suitcase for Mother's Day. And that t-shirt? I laughed for hours because I saw it in a store the week after my parents dogs were sprayed by a skunk. I'm such a good daughter. :-)

Seriously? Who wouldn't want documentation of the biggest soap dispenser ever, 35 cents in a toilet, and a giant glass head? If you can tell me who wouldn't find any of these interesting enough to take a picture you can have that 35 cents. But I'm not fishing it out of the toilet...

Need some Proactiv? Head to your nearest mall and buy it from the Proactic vending machine! A wine purse?! Count me in! My feet are my favorite model. I found this pile of salt and a plastic spoon when I went to the library the other day. I must not be "in the know" about this new way to stay awake for studying. I thought people just drank coffee?



You're intrigued aren't you? You wish I was texting you all of this awesomeness, don't you? Well, never fear! I've decided to update the ole blog with my phone pics on a regular basis. Stay tuned for more amazing randomness. It will be like nothing you've experienced before!






Oh, but wait! Don't leave just yet. Here, in all their marvelous glory, are my random phone pics from the previous week!

Both of these are from Sunday evening. I don't know why, but I'm madly in love with this tree. It has this giant dead branch shooting straight up the center, but it's still thriving. It's on the way to a couple of my friend's houses so I see it often, but Sunday evening the sky was incredibly blue which made the leaves incredibly green. It was gorgeous!

What? Did you just ask me why I was taking pictures with my phone while I was driving? Who says I was? You can't prove it.... Yeah... You can't... Please don't turn me in...

Do you know what happens when you go to Hobby Lobby to "kill some time?" You walk out with a tray, a metal ball, a metal bird, and a giant wooden @ sign, that's what. You know what happens when you go into DSW shoes? You walk out with these magnificent gold sandals. I. CAN. NOT. WAIT. TO WEAR. THESE.

So, uh, do you think my cat wants a bath? Or maybe she has dreams of riding a ferris wheel? How gorgeous is this passion flower? They're about to be growing wildly on the south end of my house and I can't wait! And last, but not least, my, oh so delicious, Weight Watcher friendly mushroom, spinach, and pesto pizza. YUM!



What will I take pictures of this week? The world may never know or maybe that's how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop?

You'll definitely know next week. For sure, man.

Hello May!

In the fifth grade I was chosen as one of 6 students from my elementary school to participate in the Maypole Dance. I was so excited to be picked in front of others and getting to walk around a pole in a pretty dress while weaving ribbons together sounded like loads of fun to this ten year old girl. We even made the paper. I have the article somewhere...I think. But, it's ok if I lost it because I'm still famous in my head. Ha!

I was on the news once which totally makes me even more famous. For spelling a lot of words correctly, but that's a story for another day. Oh, and I was wearing a one piece bubble suit. I had NO style.

Anyway, at the time I didn't know what the purpose of a Maypole is. Ok, let's be honest, I still don't know what the purpose of a Maypole is so what did I do? I checked out that handy dandy website Wikipedia, of course! I love Wikipedia. It's so...well, handy.

Usually, I'm quite pleased with the info I find over at The W, but today I'm a little worried because of phrases such as these: viewed them as having phallic symbolism, and these: the origin of the maypole dance began in ancient Babylon during sex worship and fertility rites.

Phallic symbolism??? Sex worship??? Fertility rites??? REALLY??? I barely know what the word phallic means today and it's been 18 years since I danced that (apparently) dirty little ribbon dance.

I wonder if those public school teachers of mine knew what they were doing? I wonder if they had read the real Encyclopedia since my beloved Wikipedia did not yet exist? I wonder if they were all hoping to become pregnant that Spring day so they had us dress up in our Sunday best and prance around a fertility pole while waving ribbons in the air? I sure hope not...

Happy May! Go dance around a Maypole today. It's fun even if it is a bit dirty... ;-)