October 26, 2012
In Her World
She stands at the window looking in. It’s as if she’s watching her life unfold right before her eyes, but she can’t do anything to stop it or change it. Nobody can hear her. She bangs on the window with her fists. Yelling. Pleading for them to hear her. But no one looks up. No one notices she’s there. She falls to the ground in a heap. Crying. Wiping her eyes and her nose. Wishing she could change it all. Wishing she could just get someone to notice her, but they never do. They just continue to move forward without her as she sits and watches.
She hears a noise. She looks up. She thinks someone has noticed her. Someone is finally going to come wipe away here tears. Someone is finally going to take her into their arms. Someone is finally going to let her in. But no one is looking at her. She’s still invisible.
The noise she heard was a girl. Laughing.
She peers through the window at the girl. She thinks its herself. She’s watching herself move about inside the house. But it’s not her, it’s someone else. Another girl. Living her life. Laughing her laughs. Speaking her words. In frustration she pounds on the window. She’s up on her knees. She’s screaming at the top of her lungs, “why?! Why?! Why can’t you see me? I’m right here! I’m right outside! Please come and help me…” But no one hears. Nobody comes. And she falls back to the ground and the tears flow again.
She’s so lost. So alone. So afraid. She can’t believe this is happening to her.
She wonders what she did wrong. What she did right. What she didn’t say. What she said that was too much.
She thought she was good enough. She thought she was strong enough. She thought she could do it all.
But now, she sits with tears rolling down her cheeks, looking through the glass into her world. The world she should be in, but she isn’t and she wonders why.