The Winter Blues

I’ve never actually seen a groundhog so I’m not sure I truly believe they exist (kidding!), but if I ever do meet that dang groundhog who saw his shadow on February 2, 2012 in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, a place I’ve never been, I’m going to drop kick him to the next continent.


I mean, seriously, Mr. Groundhog? Did you have to see your shadow? Did you have to stick your nose in the air declaring 6 more weeks of winter? Did you have to cause my 60 degree January days to come to a screeching halt so they could turn into yucky, yucky cold February days? Did you really have to make it…snow?!?!





So…yeah…the white stuff was pretty. But, Mr. Groundhog! Seriously! I’m ready for Spring!


Although, I do really like to wear my rubb-ah boots.




Polka dots in the snow, yo. I love this picture so.


It’s the only thing keeping me sane Mr. Groundhog. The. Only. Thing. This picture…and bacon.

Confession From a TP Queen

I really like this picture. Because it's glittery and it has an owl on it and that Pinot was DEE-LISH-US.

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm going to write about today, but I like it so I'm sharing. Seriously? Who wouldn't like glittery owl Pinot's?



I have a confession to make.

I know I've already told you on many occasions that I'm quite weird. Well, what I'm about to tell is going to make you believe with every fiber of your bean...I mean being that I'm the weirdest person ever.

I am a toilet paper snob.

There, I said it.

I'm a snotty, snotty, snob when it comes to toilet paper. I mean seriously snobby. So much so that I've considered on more than one occasion carrying my own roll in my purse.

{Side Note} - Speaking of my purse...

Is this not one of the most gorgeous specimens of the purse family you have ever seen? This, folks, is my very first Kate Spade (sitting with a peach bellini slushy thingy that was quite tasty). I named her Delilah as soon as I took her out of the box. She just called to me, "Delilah, call me Delilah."

Jesse and Stephanie gave her to me as a Maid of Honor gift. All I've got to say about that is they give some rockin' gifts! Wowza!

Oh, and thank you, thank you, thank you times a million, trillion, gazillion!!! I love you girls!

Delilah's guts. Just as gorgeous as her skin. And so flawless too. I wonder if she moisturizes?


I'm such a digresser.

Ok, so back to my toilet paper snobbery.

I really want to carry a roll in my purse, but they're just so big, you know? Since I can't possibly carry around some huge old roll of TP I use what's out there as painful as it is. I mean this literally. Who invented TP that's about as soft as a piece of sandpaper? And who invented that stuff that's so thin and crisp it's like tissue paper used for wrapping gifts? In fact, I should start buying that stuff for wrapping, it would definitely be cheaper.

Anyway, I only purchase one brand and I never ever, ever, ever deviate. Quilted Northern. It's the bomb (do people still say that?). Not too soft, not too crispy. It's just right. I also use it as Kleenex because I'm way too cheap to buy a box of the stuff. Besides QN has the perfect softness and strength for nose blowing.

But here's the deal...last week when I was in New York, everywhere I went had thin and crispy TP! It was like a plague. I didn't know what to do. It was rough, I tell you! I tried blowing my nose with that stuff and I'm pretty sure I got a paper cut in my nostril, and we all know how I feel about paper cuts.

I'm so happy to be home with my QNTP (Quilted Northern Toilet Paper for those of you who haven't been paying attention) I can't even explain the happiness I feel or that my nostril feels. It's priceless, really.

I have to say, though, that I still love my New Yorkians...New Yorkers...Yorkiteers? Whatever. I love each and every one of them. Well, the handful that I actually know. What I'm trying to say is yes, I'm a TP snob, but I won't hold the crispy stuff against them. Especially since they gave me Delilah.

Another unrelated photo to help you clear your mind of images of my nostril getting a paper cut.

I have no clue what happened here. I held up a wine glass to a window, I was way to close with my 50mm lens, I released the shutter, and BAM! Crazy, weird, super cool, glittery, blurry, strange wine glass art. I think I'll keep it.

Pants

I have an issue with pants. Saggy pants. Pants not worn around the waist, but hanging halfway down...excuse me, I'm about to use profanity...the ass. I mean, seriously?!?! Who in the world decided pants should be worn practically on the ground? Why wear pants at all if you're going to wear them in such a way that you must hold them up to walk?

Exhibit A: Are they gonna fall??

Disclaimer: Neither the previous picture nor any of the following pictures were taken by me. I do not know the people in them. I just needed some imagery for sagging pants.

I'm sorry if you like to wear your pants hanging halfway to the ground, but it makes you look like a slob. Like someone who doesn't care what they look like. Like someone who has no respect for themselves. Like someone I don't even want to talk to. I have a serious issue with pants people! Have I gotten my point across yet? Pants have a waist for a reason. So you can wear them around your waist. Duh.

I don't care if you have a rockin' body with scrumptious abs to boot, you still look like a dumb dumb with your pants halfway to the ground.

Exhibit B: Pull up your pants! You obviously know where your waist is because you pulled your drawers up that high!

Exhibit C: This one is actually a pic of a garter belt to hold up your sagging pants. So he fits in the hot and ridiculous categoires.

What really gets me is you can buy pre-sagged pants. Do you think I'm kidding? You asked for it...

Exhibit D: I wouldn't pay 2 cents for this ugliness.

I have heard the origin of the sagging pants is prison. The story I heard was if you sagged your pants you were announcing your availability to certain things. I'm sure you don't need me to spell it out for you. However, I'm not altogether sure that's a true statement and according to Wikipedia (who knows if they're telling the truth or not either, but their name rhymes with Encyclopedia and we know how real those things are so I'm going with it) while sagging did originate in prisons it was not to announce your availability for lewd acts, but was actually because the prisoners belts are taken away and without a belt your pants might just fall down. And of course hip-hop (which isn't even real musc in my book) artists wearing saggy pants in their music videos didn't help.

Anyway, in my personal, professional opinion saggy pants are UGLY and should not be worn by anyone on any day of the week. Do you really want to be in my blog because you wore saggy pants like this guy?

I doubt you do, but I'll be watching...

An Aside

I know I should take this as a compliment, but I don't. When I'm sitting in class and the professor makes a comment such as this, "Of course none of you know what I'm talking about, you're all too young to remember," or this, "you're all 21, 22 years old, way too young to know what I'm talking about," or this, "when you're on your own without your parent's support," it really chaps my backside. My TWENTY-EIGHT year old backside to be precise. I realize that I'm not a typical college student, but these are not typical times either. So many people of varying ages are going to college these days that the person standing in front of the class should seriously consider putting a stop to their generalizations. Especially when speaking to someone with as much gray hair as this girl has. What really gets me is that the majority of the time I am probably the exact same age or just a few years off from the age of the teacher and yet, they still stand up there making asses of themselves by assuming we're all youngsters who rely on mommy and daddy to pay the way. Well, I for one, am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and what I really want to say is this, "excuse me, not that your generalizations aren't great and all and not that I'm not flattered you think I'm such a young pup, but last June I bought a house just after my 28th birthday so put that in your pipe of assumption and smoke it."

Aside, over and out. Back to obsessions next time. Promise.

Word Rant

I really want to post something about this on my Facebook status, but considering how many of my cyber friends use this word I'm about to type (and, by the way, it's really, really, really, hard for me to type this word, that's how much I hate it) I decided to take the safe way out and blog it. Especially since I'm pretty sure only a handful of people read this. So, here goes...Stilly. Why?????????????????? Why must anyone shorten Stillwater to Stilly. Blech! It leaves a bad taste in my mouth just thinking about saying it out loud. I hate, hate, hate it!!!!!!! I can understand shortening it to StillH2O for texting purposes, if need be, but why must anyone drop half the name and add a "y?" It's sounds so incredibly juvenile and ridiculous. It's even worse when people use the shortened version when they're speaking out loud. Ugh!!!!

Here are some towns I have shortened and added a "y" to:

1: Cincy
2: Pitty
3: Housty
4: Wichy
5:Chicy

Can you guess what they are? Do they not look and sound D-U-M-B, dumb?

I suppose I'm just a snob, but I don't care. I literally cringe whenever I hear or read the word "Stilly."